Oh the Joys of Summers Past 5

Internet, first I want to apologize for not updating in a bit. You know how things get, it IS summer time you know. The time where you spend weekends (or weekdays) drinking a sweet wine, or staying up until the wee hours of the morning reading. You might even try to stay awake all night to see a partial lunar eclipse only to be disappointed when it looks like a cookie with a bite out of it. Well I have been busy gearing up for the school year which is fast approaching. I realize I look forward to getting office supplies and my sleeping habits are starting to change up. No more sleeping in until 10 a.m. for me! Well any hoo...I am sorry I haven't been on in a bit.

So where was I? Oh yes, the stories of summers past. Well do you remember Kerri Strugg? I do. Why? Mostly because my sister and I were OBSESSED with her, the summer Olympics, and gymnastics. I think every girl goes through the phase of wanting to be some terrific athlete like a gymnast at some point in their life, right? Well, that summer we got up early and watched t.v. like is was our crack. Now during the summer my parents typically kicked us out of the house until the street lights came on, insisting we get exercise. Which, now when I look back, was really a great thing. However, we convinced our parents we were being truly patriotic for staying in and rooting on our team.

We got our Barbies out and made them into gymnasts, doing floor routines and such. The fun though really began when Christine (you knew she was included) took up the responsibility of coaching us in our gymnastic endeavors. We used the front lawn for our floor routines. Our swing set was converted into the parallel bars (minus one bar-don't ask). Finally, we used the back of our couch for the balance beam. See our couch was this 70s throw back with little wooden knobs on it. Hideous I know. Well, these little knobs were set about two feet apart from each other and were removable by screwing them off. Christine would "spot" us as we performed our routines. We even had the extra people (waiting their turn) sit on the couch so it wouldn't flip. Nice, right?

Well we continued on this way for the whole summer. Not one injury to every one's amazement. We would wear our swimsuits as our uniforms, and one day Tiffany (the sister one step older than Christine) decided she wanted to play. My parents were gone and they were both in charge of us for the day/evening. Well we decided to just mess around with the whole one person lays on their back with their hands and feet ready. Another person then steps backwards into the grips of their hands while the person laying down puts their feet on the other person's butt. Then the stander would lean back and the person on the ground would then flip the over, completing a somewhat weird flip.

We loved it and Christine was excellent at doing this. Well it was Jaclyn's turn (my little sister) and Tiffany came down stairs wanting to join us. She took Christine's spot and Jaclyn got ready to go. Well that is when things turned bad. Tiffany did not some much flip Jaclyn up but out. With a painful thud, crying ensued. As Jaclyn got up, we saw her wrist was at an unnatural angle. Chaos followed. 911 was called as were our parents. As the firemen, first responders, were trying to set her in a brace Tiffany tried to take her mind off things.

Now Jaclyn is like 10 or so. Tiffany, a teenager with a huge thing for boys. Jaclyn was doing her thing of sniffling and whining, she was good at taking pain. Well Tiffany, trying to cheer Jaclyn up, says "Well at least the firemen are hot." What happens? Jaclyn begins wailing, not at the pain in her wrist, but because Tiffany embarrasses her. Hilarious now, not so funny when your parents come in the door at that moment. So, after that little incident, let's just say not matter how much we wanted to watch the Olympics to support our country, we were denied.

Oh the Joys of Summers Past 4

Okay Internet. I know that some of you out there have been thinking about what you did as a kid during the summer. Well do you remember sleep overs? Well they were the best, right? Yeah. For us girls, it was all about primping and gossiping. Okay, that lasted all of an hour at the most in my house. See, we would walk the walk and talk the talk until our parents went to bed.

Now if you had ever stayed the night at our house, you would know my parents are notorious for being heavy sleepers. So heavy that my Mom actually slept through the time where a car hit our house. Yes, I will explain that at a later time. So, back to the story. We would anxiously wait for our parents to go to sleep. We had our parents schedules down pat. Seriously. We knew as soon as the box fan in our parents room came on, we could wait about 15 minutes before slipping out the front door undetected. So, we bided our time.

I know now that what we did in the middle of the night was not the best idea, but it cured our boredom. What did we do, you ask? Well a variety of things. First starters, we would collect our necessities such as eggs, duct tape, and toilet paper. Yes Internet, we did unspeakable evil things as children. WE ACTED WITHOUT CONSCIENCE. Okay, we would typically feel bad the next day and we would go help the victim clean up, saying things like "It is so horrible what people do to others and their property, isn't it?" Well my parents' house (where all the mischief happened) is on the corner of a very busy intersection of a neighborhood.

This is where we started our evening antics. We would create tape traps. We would line the street with the duct tape, sticky side up and wait for a car to pass. See when the tape gets stuck on the car, people think that they have a flat. They stop and in the dark try to figure out if they do. Seeing nothing, they continue on their way, but stop numerous times afterwards because of the noise. This goes on and on until they finally see the tape. Well for some reason we added eggs to this equation. We called them egg mine babies. It didn't do anything except make a mess. However, when you are kids in the middle of a heat-induced haze (because your father never NEVER used the A/C) you liked to create messes as much as possible.

After numerous rounds of this and close calls of being caught by the drivers we then switched to toilet paper vengeance. Yes, we would look at our neighborhood and go ballistic. Not one, not even two, but possibly three houses would be hit by our summer madness. Now, we typically helped clean up in the morning, but my parents were always wondering where the toilet paper went. When asked, we would just reply, "Our neighbors needed to borrow some." I know, our actions were horrible. So Internet, you have some stories like these? Please do tell! I will rack my brain for more...oh wait...I already have a list to go by. If I lose my list, I can always check out the old videos!

Oh the Joys of Summers Past 2

Insomnia, we meet again. Okay, since you win this round I will now recount memories of summers past. Internet, have you ever done something that you wish would disappear from the depths of your soul and mind? Okay, now that you understand, I can relive the horrible atrocity of our fashion shows. As little kids, my younger siblings and I were quite interested in fashion, or really just showing off our hopes of becoming a model. At the time of growing up, models were THE thing to become. Cindy Crawford was my idol for example. I even went to a summer camp to learn the aspects of modeling. It really was some high schooler who was trying to make some money, but either way...I thought it was so cool.

Now an important point of this story is that my family was one of the few at the time to have a video camera. Yes, the vintage type, you know the one that was like a boom box on the side of your head with a battery life of 30 minutes or so. My father was quite strict on the usage of such expensive (chuckle) items so the only time we had access to it was in fact when my parents were out. That means that one of my older siblings was left in charge. You guessed it Internet, Christine (come on, we had to have someone for hair and make-up). So after getting our outfits together, that usually consisted of our older siblings' clothes, we set up of the living room.

We took our dining room table and placed it at the landing by our front door. Now our front door opens to this little landing and goes directly to a set of stairs leading up. This gave us the hallway for entry onto our runway. We usually covered the table with a white sheet, and had the coolest music playing. My sister Christine would then announce us and down we would come. Now, we usually broke our shows up into seasons, with each person doing their own outfit in each season. Ridiculous? I know. What was hilarious about this whole thing was that my little brother joined us. Let's just summer was interesting with his swim team speedo on. Michael Phelps had nothing on him (chuckle).

Now just imagine big hair, 80s jewelry and clothing, mixed with little mishaps like tripping, falling off the table, or even the random dog in the shot. Yeah, summer was great, and our fashion shows were even better. However, there is a downside to these little events. Every little bit of information I just gave you, there is photographic EVIDENCE that it actually occurred. Not just the hideous outfits, not the actual proof of it happening, but the fact that you can RELIVE the events at ANY GIVEN TIME. This has not slipped the mind of my older sister Christine either. She still brings up a number of events that are still on tape somewhere, and she happens to be holding all the tapes hostage. I know, crap. So think back to those days of summer with love, and remember blackmail is NEVER cool.

Oh the joys of summers past 1

Internet, do you remember your summers as a kid? Over the next couple of weeks, I am going to relive some of those stories with you all. So here is story one because I am currently on summer break from my job, allowing me to think back when times were simply dull. Well they were considered dull if you weren't at our house. With four sisters and a brother you had plenty of playmates. However, being the younger ones you were talked into doing quite some hilarious things later.

First, I remember the lemonade stand. EVERYONE remembers the lemonade stand bit, right? I am sure you do. But, did you have a manager? I did. My sister Christine has always had an eye on money and budgets for the longest time, even back when she started as our lemonade stand manager. We started our little production line easily enough. However when Christine got involved, things got complicated. It was quite hilarious now that I think back. She set our pricing, picked the kool-aid flavors, and we set up and sold the stuff. She stayed at home waiting for our arrival and then she collected the money. Yes, you heard me right. She made a percentage and then divided up the rest for us workers. Thinking back now, it makes me laugh. Then, it was just fact.

We took our small amounts of money that we made and then walked up to the corner store to buy ridiculous things. I remember buying a can of silly string for $2.99 thinking I was really spending a lot of money. Wish I could go back to those days. We even had different size cups with varying prices. We always hit the busiest corner and had signs to boot! In all honesty, Christine only helped our business thrive, or at least keep us afloat. Well Internet, think back to those days. Remember how you anxiously awaited your next customer? Keep that in mind the next time you see a rag tag team of kids hawking flavors of kool-aid. Buy a cup, it sure makes good memories and the amount of sugar added to the kool-aid by the kids will make you smile if you hadn't already.