Moments of great happiness/sadness

Internet, have you ever wondered if happiness could possible co-exist with sadness or sorrow? Well I have it on good authority that they can and do. See, I received some wonderful news from my sister Christmas day...she is pregnant. Yup...extreme happiness right? At the same time, my heart literally broke in two. I am now the only daughter in my family that has yet to give my mother a grandchild, my husband a son or daughter, a child to carry on a legacy. I realize they (my family) even speak in hushed tones around me when speaking of children. Now, internet, it is not because I have chosen this...not at all. I love my husband and we have been blissfully happy for going on nine years now. However, kids have eluded us for some time, and not because of the lack of trying. So Christmas day I received that phone call, a text messaged sonogram with it and I could barely keep it together on the phone. I thought I did well, but apparently those hushed tones came back after they hung up. I heard from reliable sources that they were upset they made me cry. But see Internet, I can honestly say I was crying because of the happiness I felt for them. But what they will never know is the tears of sorrow that came directly after that or the emptiness that still remains.

Saturday Night...

I have so much to do at this time of year. However, I get so distracted when chilling on the internet. Does anyone else have this issue? I mean, just meandering on the internet sucks up all my time. I have spent the majority of today looking at amazon.com, itunes.com, and all the various email accounts I own. Seriously. I just now realized it is 1:30 in the morning and I have work stuff that I need to get done before Monday. So, with the internet sucking up my time, I now have a heck of a Sunday to complete a lot of what I should have done today. Is this the internet's fault? Nope. I can look at myself in the mirror and see...I am the queen of procrastination. I will suffer...ugh.

Thursday?

Internet, it is Thursday right? My deadline is getting closer, yet I still have so much more to complete. Do you ever feel like a hamster trapped in a metal wheel? Running but getting nowhere? Yeah, that is how I am feeling at the moment. Well back to running. Maybe I will get something accomplished now...maybe.

Wednesday...in my mind you are half way

Internet, I hope you all are having a wonderful week so far. To only think, we are half way through it! I have been quite the busy beaver, getting my desk all arranged and cleaned, meeting with co-workers and getting stuff done! I am quite happy with what I have accomplished today. So, Internet, what have you done today?

My time during the summer...

Internet, I have been quite busy this summer. I did some training, cut out my exercising because of the heat, and visited my family south of here. I also was reminded of how old I really am getting when my niece drove me around while in town to see my family. Yup. That is correct Internet. My niece was driving me around. I think she did so only to add driving hours, but hey she needed a licensed driver and she wasn't bad. I wouldn't go so far as to say she was perfect and I felt completely at ease while she drove, but it did give us some great time to bond. I also visited with my nephew who loves books and we had some terrific conversations about them as well. My youngest niece was a little hesitant of me at first, but that quickly went away. Why was she hesitant? Well I am unable to visit as often as I would like, so I am just not that familiar. The one thing I wanted to do while in town was to go to the beach. Sadly, I never made it. To hear the ocean's roar as I soaked in the sun's delicate rays would have been wonderful...maybe next time. I also have been keeping busy with watching old movies such as SOUTH PACIFIC, GUYS AND DOLLS, MY FAIR LADY, and THE PERFECT WIFE among others. I enjoy the effortless evenings, the ability to read all the time, and snuggle time with my husband and my pups. Sadly, we did lose one of our girls this summer-Dori. Our sweet kitty who we adopted off the streets when we were living in an apartment years ago. We will forever miss her, but she is in a better place now. Well until another day...good night Internet.

Dreams...

Summertime is a time for long naps in the afternoon and wonderful sunsets, right Internet? Well I took a nap today and the dream the appeared was NOT an ordinary dream. See, I began my dream with walking down the side of Highway 59 in the Houston Texas area. This was not abnormal since that is my hometown and all. However, when LADY GAGA and her tour bus stopped next to me, that is when it began to jump out of the ordinary. Lady Gaga stopped and began to walk alongside me. We discussed such things as politics and religion. I know, weird right? Well she then asked why I was walking. I told her my car was not with me. She simply stated then that she would buy me one.

So we walked until we found a service station for a dealership. However, there were no cars. Upon finding this out, we then began our trip back to her tour bus and the highway. However, upon reaching said bus, it had turned into a boat on a river...that was once Highway 59. It does not stop there though. Lady Gaga then tethers me to her boat and begins to drag me behind it as if I am water skiing. I have never done so in my life, so that was a bit odd as well. She takes the wheel of the boat and begins to make these ridiculous turns in the river quite rapidly. The line I am tethered with is so taunt that it takes out random trees which are standing in the river! I have to begin dodging tree limbs flying at my face as Lady Gaga laughs hysterically at me. We continue on this path, until we magically reach my house...in OKLAHOMA. No clue. She then unties me and apologizes for not being able to buy me a car. I say it is no big deal since I own a working and wonderful '89 Buick. She then waves and carries off into the setting fog.

My husband, upon realizing that I was with Lady Gaga, gets supremely pissed at me. We don't speak a word to each other for a week. Then a delivery arrives for me...from Lady Gaga...a beautiful Maserati Grand Turismo. I take it for a spin and it drives like a dream (funny huh...) but then my husband demands to drive it. He is so pissed at me for hanging out with Lady Gaga that he WRECKS MY NEW CAR. As I am yelling at him, I wake up. Now, Internet, what do you think this dream means? Anything? Or is it just a summertime fever dream? I guess I will never know.

Sunshine...how I have missed you

Internet, I have been gone a while. I apologize, although I am sure there are not that many that see this little spot of mine in the ether. I have enjoyed my time today. I drove slow, windows down, enjoying the breeze in my short hair. Smiled at the dog hanging out the window lapping up the air as it passed me.

I ate a tuna salad sandwich with glee and my taste buds tangoed with a wonderful frozen lemonade. I am living it up Internet. I am enjoying every moment of summer. It only comes once a year. Many people I know complain about the heat, humidity, or even the rain when it decides to crash the party. I revel in the small things.

So, Internet, take a moment tomorrow and do the same. It is time to relish the moments we make, no matter how small.

"Jersey Shore" Gone Wilde, Part 1