Moments of great happiness/sadness

Internet, have you ever wondered if happiness could possible co-exist with sadness or sorrow? Well I have it on good authority that they can and do. See, I received some wonderful news from my sister Christmas day...she is pregnant. Yup...extreme happiness right? At the same time, my heart literally broke in two. I am now the only daughter in my family that has yet to give my mother a grandchild, my husband a son or daughter, a child to carry on a legacy. I realize they (my family) even speak in hushed tones around me when speaking of children. Now, internet, it is not because I have chosen this...not at all. I love my husband and we have been blissfully happy for going on nine years now. However, kids have eluded us for some time, and not because of the lack of trying. So Christmas day I received that phone call, a text messaged sonogram with it and I could barely keep it together on the phone. I thought I did well, but apparently those hushed tones came back after they hung up. I heard from reliable sources that they were upset they made me cry. But see Internet, I can honestly say I was crying because of the happiness I felt for them. But what they will never know is the tears of sorrow that came directly after that or the emptiness that still remains.